Tuesday, February 12, 2013                

"The  Importance of just being Mommy "

I know many women struggle with their individual identity and careers after having children and  you are not alone. We have three wonderfully and fearfully made children that are 11 years old, 3 years old and 20 months. When I was pregnant with our youngest, we made the decision for me to go ahead and go back to school. Reasoning that childcare would be more than sufficient for the 2 years it would take to bridge from my LPN to my RN and that, surely, we could make it through that time. I could still have a career. It's important as a women to maintain a career, right? Our society demands it, else we are considered lazy housewives right? The stigma.... my goodness. 

 Let me remind you now, that our plans are not God's plans and if you want to hear Him laugh then tell him what you are going to do. Somehow, I often fail to consider His opinion, leading, calling, and omnipotence. Knowing all the while that he can see the big picture while I cannot, I proceeded with our ideas. 

I was mid semester (Summer 2011) when I had him and I was so caught up in adoring him, that I failed a class. No big deal, I retook it the next semester and prevailed! :) In fall 2012, I began the RN program. I was so excited for myself. As the semester raced on, life at home began to show signs of falling apart. One sickness after another, fights over everything, the kids screaming "I want to stay home with Mommy," guilt, guilt, and more guilt. After a mere 3 weeks into the program, my husband and I discussed withdrawal options. It was decided we could do this! However, as the first semester neared it end, we passed around one sickness after another. I went two weeks and didn't attend lecture because of the kids being so sick they weren't allowed to return to school. That was a bad exam. The semester finally came to an end and not soon enough for us. 

During, the long Christmas break I struggled with knowing that I needed to leave the program and not wanting to drop out! I, finally, told my husband that I knew it was the right thing to do and that I'd researched online options to stay in school in an effort to not waste the time and resources invested in further my education. I withdrew. 

The increase in time with my family was an immediate reward; however, my work schedule was still preventing me from being Mommy. Our middle child began to throw tantrums and beg me not to go to work. They were going to school without seeing me, I'd pick them up at 3 in the afternoon, then go to work at 620pm. They were never getting to see me. I changed my schedule at work and began to allow them to stay home with me all day. 

It quickly became obvious that my kids needed me to "just be Mommy." 

Thoughts began to run through my head and I questioned many things. I began to wonder, "Who's raising my kids? Me? No, the teachers are getting the best time with them. The teachers are instructing them, nurturing their creativity, teaching them, nursing them when they are hurt, and..... they are also the models my children are watching everyday all day. They see how the teachers interact with others, they watch how they react to situations, they are disciplined or not disciplined according to that teachers beliefs and the schools policies, they are watching the teachers interact outside the classroom and when they are on break. They are learning who to be from them, not me and my husband. 

    

The teachers are raising my children, now there's something wrong with that! 

Now we are in the process of reducing my hours to weekends only so that I can stay home with our beautiful wonderful children. I'm going to be with them, teaching them, nurturing them, showing them how to react and interact, and being the example of the fruits of the Spirit I long to instill in them. If only I could keep them in mind so that they see a good example to follow. lol

 I am SO excited to join this elite movement, the League of Extraordinary Women, the Few, the Proud,.... Stay at home Mommies!