"Tough Love"

Our children will never understand that everything we do is seriously in their best interest. Even when it hurts, we are simply doing our very best to do the very best job possible in protecting you while you grow; and sometimes it hurt us more! I "know" this because I was a kid once, too. It was through having my own children that I began to realize this truth. Freedoms and privileges are given and taken for the purpose of teaching, molding, and shaping character. To teach about money, we have to be a stickler for the amount given and refuse to pay for overage. We also have to refuse to give extra for poor choices. This promotes good stewardship and decision making skills. To teach about responsibility, we refuse to bring textbooks to school after leaving them at home and we refuse to return to school to get something that was a known necessity to complete homework. This promotes preparedness. But today, it was a reminder in choosing friends wisely. 

Social networking is a privilege, not a right. We have the password and monitor the accounts, deny and even  sever connections. See, I feel a great responsibility to teach them to choose wisely, but in the event they are not capable; it is our job to intervene and either take away the privilege or eliminate the actual problem. It wasn't her. It was her friends and we do not have to allow a poisonous friendship to remain intact. We had a shorter than expected discussion. I thought it would be more difficult. I laid out the details and said with absolute certainty that the friendship must be ended. I was initially met with pleading to allow a change. I explained all that I knew of the one sided friendship and advised, with great conviction of personal experience, that a choice to be around friends that share beliefs and behave similarly instead of being bossy, eclipsing, and judgmental would benefit in the long run. I explained that friends should complement one another and it should be a give and take. 

The next thing I knew I was watching a transformation as my little girl realized she didn't have to stay friends with someone who wasn't good to her, for her, didn't really like her, and she didn't really like, that disappointed her all the time, and made her feel like they always had to do what that girl wanted.  She said she thought she was helping, but it was killing her to do so. I promised her that she would find good, enriching, and supportive friends if she kept looking. She said she missed our church, Calvary Baptist, and I promised we could return. She said she'd like that and that way she can makes friends. I want that for her sooo badly.  Don't settle, I told her, and always, always, always know that I love you more than anything and want the very best for you and that you can tell me anything. 

She said, "Trust me, I know Mama. I love you, too!"